Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Rants, Musings, Life Lessons, ME - Its been a while, its time.

Most of you know I'm a passionate person. Be it the game, be it my friends, be it my knowledge, my interests, my opinions, my facts I refuse to let you dispute and that you simply can not disprove, I get a little fired up.

OK I'm back, had to run to the store and hop on the Nightrain real quick

Knowing I have a fiery personality, some people know how to hit that button, where it is, what it does, and how its going to effect me. Now clearly this goes for anyone, everyone has a breaking point. However, I'm gonna come out and say it - there are some people you don't fuck with like that, and its not because they are some badass or any horseshit like that. It has to do with who YOU are, YOUR relationship to them, and most importantly, WHAT the topic of conversation is. For me, it is those things that I am overly passionate about, the things I put infinite effort and thought into, essentially what I live for. I strive to be my best at some things and to, and for some people, and when I get that thrown back into my face by the wrong people, quite frankly it makes me wonder how much or even if they care in end.

Baseball. Baseball may seem like an insignificant thing to a vast majority of people in this world; this I can understand. However, let me put baseball into perspective for you.

A. Take 25 years of upbringing, mental conditioning.
B. Take two of the most inspirational people in your life (Dad, Coach Helfant RIP)
C. Take something that alluded you, something that spurned you when you needed it most
D. Take a second chance to recapture something you missed for so long
E. Take a measure of success, a glimpse into what might could have been had circumstances played out differently
F. Take a great deal of effort and thought put towards something in order to give yourself and others an outlet, and something to be proud of
G. Take a once in a lifetime chance to share something with your father, to be the catalyst that sparks something that he orchestrates, the apex member of his team

This is what baseball means to me, the niche that it has found in my life. Baseball may not be as important as family, may not be as commendable as sticking up for your friends, but in the end, for me, it is more than a game - it is a creative outlet and something that lives in my soul, it is my albatross, at the same time being my great conquest. My teacher, my absolute goal, it is all of these things because it is so much more than just baseball. If you can dig what I'm saying then you understand that this is about more than just a game, if you don't, then you quite simply don't comprehend me.

"OK Andy, so what's the fuckin' point??"
- Understandable, hold your fuckin' horses, I'm getting there.

There is a reason why I explained to you what baseball means to me, but I won't divulge the entire backlog of what transpired etc...
Here's the gist of it - IF you really care about someone, do what you can not to trash their dreams, not to mindfuck them pertaining to something they care that deeply about. Yeah I had this happen to me, and yeah I know that if I have good stats I shouldn't care, but my ability was not just trashed, it was all of what I explained to you, all of what means the most to me. Lets say, for instance, that someone off the street tells me I suck as a ballplayer, even someone on the other team I happen to be playing - You all know what comin' - they can suck my dick. Now that's a fact, and another fact might be that I would say that to ANYONE who told me I am a shit ballplayer, but the latter fact may just be a coverup for "wow, you just tore off a piece of my soul, may I have that fucker back?"

Point being folks, just 'cause you're pissed at someone, and just cause you know that one thing to say to fuck their shit up, doesn't mean you should go for the killshot. Chances are, you know not what you speak of, and even if you do, probably don't understand the magnitude of what it means to the other person. We all play the cocksucker sometimes, (wow cocksucker doesn't come up as a misspelled word on here haha) and I give creedence to, and legitimize being the cocksucker sometimes (figureativley of course) but you can really distance yourself from someone, or even take yourself out of that part of their life totally, if you say the wrong thing at the wrong time. Just because you know HOW to hurt someone, does not mean its good for you in the long run.

Think about this shit folks, and go fuckin' apologize to whomever you last suckerpunched, 'cause it may mean more to them than you know - or they may jack your shit, I don't know - but either way, you'll either feel better or get what you deserve.

BTW - here are my stats in 2008 through 11 games:
AVG: .353 (2nd - but I have a shit-ton more AB's than the 1st guy)
OBP: .500 (leads team)
OPS: .970 something (2nd)
RBI: 12 (leads team)
R: 7 (ain't my fault nobody knocks me in)
HR: 1 (leads team)
SB: 9 (2nd, plus TWO of them are steals of HOME - suck on that for a while)
I may play in a shit league, but that's some quality fucking numbers right there.

War Eagle, Blow me, Djenkue, Jaegsemesh, whatever, I'm out - Andy